RESERECTION DAY !  byXsighted

HAPPY EASTER,

I pray that I may write  something good, on this our salvation day.

No words could describes  my feeling for you, JESUS.

You are truly, the life and the only way !

No better words in all the universe, that anyone could find or say,

other than we are in awe,so very thankful, for this most glorious and wonderful resurrection day !

You have arisen after being dead and came back to life on the 3^rd day !

Truly you are GOD and our all everything ! To you only we should pray !

All we need to do is believe in you with all our heart and sole.

We should repent from all our sins and follow your actions, wherever we go !

JESUS was hung on a cross for us sinners, losers, liars even a  wretch like me,

He gave his life for all of us, so with him we could spend eternity.

All was taken care of when they nailed  JESUS to that tree.

He took first the beating and then torture that was meant for you and me.

Believe in his mighty resurrections and you  too will be set absolutely free !

We are washed in his sinless blood, which covers our sins by the score,

It is time to answer his call, he’s knocking upon your door !

 He defeated death and he is still alive and will come back for us soon !

On that glorious day, we’ll zip around the moon !

We’ll check into our mansions in heaven and walk on streets of gold !

I am  a bible believer in this true story, as in the good book as it was told !

We’ll  live for evermore in glorified bodies that glow,without a single flaw from head to our toe ! No more sickness no more bills or rent ! JESUS paid the price, GOD,  his only son he sent !

We’ll be able to visit the heavens galore. We’ll keep busy, it will be never a bore!

We will be with  GOD JESUS,  always and for ever more ! My GOD, for us, I know you have much more wonderful things in store !

So on this resurrection day, remember the suffering, torture and death JESUS had to pay !  

Keep him in your heart and mind, he is the greatest gift that you will ever find !

Amen

Wacky Jack the Fisherman by Xsighted

WACKY JACK  by  Xsighted

Way back in the hills  of West Virginia  there lived a man known as Wacky Jack. He was known as the best fishermen  in the world and that is a true fact ! He got so good  at bringing baskets of fish home, even though other caught none ! He would load his pick-up  truck  up with sack after sack of fish, from sun to sun !  The game warden of the county ask Wacky Jack to take him fishing and show him how he was catching all those fish. So he met with Wacky the very next morning , putting this guy away was the wardens biggest and only wish ! So  out in the middle of the lake on Wacky’s  boat, Wacky stopped the engine and they started to just float ! Instead of Wacky reaching out  to grab a fishin pole, he pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit it up  and through it  in, “Oh my GOD !” said the warden  that is the biggest sin ! The dynamite exploded and hundred’s of fish came floating to the top !  The warden started yelling.,  stop stop stop ! You broke every law federal, state and local laws too, how many years in the pen do you think  you got coming to you ! They are gonna lock you up and put you so far backin the pen, you will never see daylight again ! With that Wacky reached down and grabbed another stick of tnt,he lit the  fuse , and handed it to the Warden  and said full of glee ! “Come join me,Are you fishin, stand up so all on the bank can see ! Or are you gonna  just sit there putting your head up your ass, rapping your  gums about me spending a lifetime in a  penitentiary !                      

Ask a Question !

ASK A QUESTION !   by Xsighted

I asked this question through extensive medication. I mean through meditation.

I have come to my own conclusion and have found the solution ,the answer of this question bugging humans since the begining of time. Yes, this answer is mine ! Maybe I belong in an asylum ! As there is  no denying that fact !  When I found the answer  to this timeless question, it felt like getting  punched  from a  300 pound Llumber Jack! It really is simple   the question was, squeezing that pimple ! The answer is simple  “Don’t squeeze that pimple”. It could leave a pock mark or even a dimple ! The pimple  was really  not the true question.  There so much here to digest,

Follow this closely ,that is my request !  Life is short  and  anyday could be our last !  It seems everyday goes by real fast ! The older we get the faster the days go by. If days had wings they could really fly !

So here is the question that was bugging me ! It has bugged humans throughout eternity !

WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE?   Many men have asked,as they consulted their wife !

I consulted and found the answer in the bible where the true answer is found. I am glad I found it before they bury me deep within the ground !  We are put here to praise and glorify  our RULER and KING. JESUS is the CREATOR of every gosh darn thing ! We were born and then our body someday will die here on this planet  called earth! Then I found that some will live forever, how much is that worth ? I chased money, glory and fame, I came up short  like most that follow that game ! Man throughout life I was really lame !  We are here to learn lessons , throughout our professions and personal life too !  If you are a JESUS follower, than you know what I say is honest and true ! He laid down his life and shed his precious blood to cover over  our sins.  Do you know anybody else that would take your place and die for you? JESUS did , the sinless one who never lied and was honest and true ! We were put here to spread his almighty word !  Some say that is upsurd .  They would rather pray to a tree or a little bird !

JESUS fulfilled over 400 proficies  in the old testament  alone !   Soon he will reappear and  wisk  us back to our heavenly home !   Our true home is  not here, but  in heaven above, no more problems, only love, love, love !  First you must make him your  SAVIOR, RULER and KING ! When you do this your name will be written in the book of life and the Angels will sing ! Then you are commanded to tell others of  your faith and believing, ! Everytime we do this the Angel’s keep singing ! This is the true meaning for our being ! 

THE TRANSVESTITE  by  Xsighted

I heard of a transvestite whose name was Dwight .

On the street she was known as Dee Light ! 

She got that name because ,

She loved to drink beer, her favorite  brand was bud light !

It was winter time  and walking home from the bar, she thought

She would freeze to death and  get frost bite !

A car pulled up and  a voice said  “ Hey honey you  are looking  good,

 You are looking tight ! You are looking  fine, looking ALLRIGHT !”

Jump into my ride and I will drive you home !

Maybe we can spend some time alone !

Dee was full of delight !   This big black man was out of site !

She jumped in his ride, she said  You are a gentlemen,

Thanks for the ride you ended my plight !

His street name was Big Bad Jim, he did not know , she was a him !

They made it to Dee’s  crib and she invited Jim right in !

The love making started right then and there !

While fooling around  Jim  felt something that gave him a scare !

He said you no good s.o.b.  your looks really fooled me !

Now I am gonna beat you within an inch of your life !

I thought you might be a candidate to become my wife !

Dee got scared and scratched him and gave him a bite !

That’s when the gloves came off, it turned into a real cockfight !

Dee  reached under her bed and pulled out a flashlight !

Your Woman by Xsighted

YOUR WOMAN    by Xsighted

Since the beginning of life  here on earth,

Women got pregnant and came forth with a birth !

They go through pain and suffering  to bring  a baby to life !

Husband’s  thank GOD  that you aren’t  the wife !   

They feed and clean and nurture the child  for many years,

It brings them much happyness and  a tub full of tears !

They are the protectors  of that child,

 from evil in this world that abounds .

On their heads, gentlemen on your queen put a crown !

Not only do they take on this challenge, they take care of us too !

Thank JESUS for bringing the right one to you !

They clean our house,wash our clothes and cook our  meals,

When we take them out they look real good in their high high heals !

When making love we hear the delight in their squeals  !

They keep us together, they are the spoke in our wheels !

If GOD created anything better than a woman ,

He kept it for himself,   

Gentlemen,

Put your woman  high upon a pedestal or higher upon a shelf !

She is the greatest gift from GOD, she is the greatest of wealth !  

Only 1 Sin is not forgiven ! by Xsighted

THERE IS ONLY ONE SIN  ! by Xsighted

There is one sin that  GOD does not forgive us from

That sin is not repenting from the sin,

 we commit over, over and over again !

We get calose and think what we are doing is not wrong !

But GOD’S word is trying to reach us and it is very strong !

We don’t hear the holy spirit who is yelling  to us ,

But  instead in our mind we seem to scheme and cuss !

It is like we have lost our hearing aid  and after awhile

God’s word does not come thru ! 

It seems we don’t want GOD telling us what to do !

We listen to the devil who tells  us that what we do does  not matter

There is no lie bigger or fatter !

We are told by the LORD  if we don’t repent !

To hell our sole will be sent !

The power of GOD can overcome our sinful nature

And wash  us white as snow !

Open up your ears,  he tells us the way to heaven,

Is a narrow one, not wide, the only way  to go !

If we want to see all of heavens glory,

Believe in him  with all your heart and sole!

If you don’t, you will pay the heavyest toll !

So it is time we repent from the sins that keep us down !

If we don’t to hell we will be sent  deep within the ground !

Amen   

SHACKING UP by Xsighted

 SHACKING UP    by X

Sex out of wedlock and shacking up,

 in this evil world ain’t no shock !

Even so called Christians are doing

this dirty deed around the clock !

Sometimes they might put an engagement ring

 on their partners  finger!

Trying to get by with it, but in GOD’S eyes,

 it’sstill a sin and will continue to linger !

Sex out of wedlock ain’t nothing new !

All that participate have believed or not ,

Have   got on board the devils ship,

And joined his sinning crew !

If you want blessing’s and a good life,

You gotta marry that lady or man,

  and make them your husband or  wife !

If you are living with a so called significant other,

You are living  in sin,  my sister or brother !

If he or she does not want to tie the knot ,

If you stick together, chances in hell your sole will  rot !

God tells us that if we sin and pray for forgiveness,

 he will forgive  and anew we win !

But if we  do the same sin over and over ,

In the cesspool of hell we will swim !

To  heaven we will  not make it !

 We will  be on our way into the  deph’s of hell !

This is nothing I made up, in the bible it truly did tell !

When you are living with someone of the opposite sex,

YOU ARE LIVING IN SIN , this is not mime but

This is the bibles’s text !

So confront this situation, and if your partner says no !

You should pack up all your things and away you should go !

The LORD  will find you the right person that you should marry,

Even if this answer is scarry !

God wants you to be happy, fulfilled and to  marry !   

Amen   

CHRISTIANITY TRUTH OR FALSE !

  CHRISTIANITY TRUE OR FALSE !  by Xsighted

Christianity is either true salvation, or false and a lie !

Don’t wait to find out on  the day you die !

JESUS FULLFILLED  400 profacies  not one two, three or four !

That is impossible,

Unless  he is the real answer  to enter through  heavens door !  

Everyone has a doctorin on heaven and hell !

It might not be right, so it’s  time to tell !

GOD sent his only begotten son to die for you and me !

As he hung naked upon the tree !

The Roman soldiers cut him no slack !

They tortured him and whipped him upon his back !

He died and arose on the 3^rd day for all to see  !

JESUS was sent to hell for all our sins,

He shed his  sinless blood at Calvary.

He covered us in it, so we could enter heaven above.

It covers our sins with JESUS’S  pure sweet love !  

It is time to praise and pray to our SAVIOR, down upon our knees !

Pray this little prayer to him you will truly please !   

 JESUS,How greatful  I am, without you I would be dammed to hell,

Up untill now, my soul to the devil  I did easily sell !   

I believe that  you were born a virgin birth .

You led a sinless life with all it’s worth !

You took away all my sins so I could be heaven bound.

You are the greatest gift that ever  could be found !

I believe in you with all my heart !

You suffered and died for me,

 Thank you JESUS for a brand new start !

If you said that little prayer ,

The door  to heaven is open to you !

 Only if you believe in  JESUS the one so true !

 He is  the only way you get to heaven,

 no matter what other’s say !

Pray to JESUS, today just might be your judgement day !

Amen   

Jukebox Jersey Johnny

JERSEY JUKE BOX JOHNNY   by Xsighted
I knew this dude called Jukebox Jersey Johnny. He grew up down at the shore !
He was the life of every party, he was never a boar !
When he saw a chick he wanted, he would always score !
He made alot of coin doing magic tricks ! If a fight broke out he would be in the mix !
He was drafted into the Army during the Vietnam fiasco. On his Commanding officer breakfast, he poured a ton of tabasco !  He jumped out of his chair, his mouth was on fire, a gallon of water  was the  only thing  this military man would desire ! He put Jukebox up in front of a firing squad and gave the command to shoot ! JBJ said a magic chant and and then he  blew a toot ! He dissapeared, leaving behind only a boot !  Johnny wound up laying on a towel on the Jersey beach. He gave surfing lessons, that was what he decided to teach ! He still surfs and teaches to this very day ! He escaped the horrors of war, there is nothing more I can say !      

Win every battle !

WIN EVERY BATTLE !   by Xsighted

Fight your battles upon your knees and win them all !

Whether it is internal external, get raised up never  fall !

What ever you are facing , you will win, you will stand real tall !

But before you can stand tall you got to get down upon your knees !

 When we humble ourselves before JESUS, to him we please !

He has the power and the answers ! Whether we are fighting the devil or cancers. He wants to send them to you, through the holy spirit , that dwells within you and can renew !

Just talk and pray to GOD about the situation. He will give you the revelation without condemnation !

So, set time alone  to speak with JESUS ! Then listen to him. You will get the answers  you are searching for and a lot more !

When GOD brings up something that is  going  on in your life, the only way to deal with it without any grief or strife is to give it to him ! Surrender it all ! He is in control ! The  worry,pain or sorrow he can take away ! Thank you LORD ! He gives us this opportunity each and every day !  

Humble yourself before the KING of KINGS the LORD of LORDS down upon your knees !

To the CREATOR of your life you truly will please !

Every battle you will win,win, win ! All you have to  do is get down upon your knees and pray to him !
  Amen !         

THE VERDICT IS IN !

THE VERDICT IS IN ! by  Xsighted

With JESUS you always win ! You have it all to lose, if you don’t believe in him !

We all get distracted and stray, it is our natural way !

There are choices made, it seems like each second or so !

The devil follow’s us where ever we go !

If we don’t watch out the devil will capture our sole !

If that happens  you have paid the highest toll !

Be careful of those choices you make  and what you say and what  you do.

Let the Holy Spirit speak thru you !

We will never be able to be like JESUS, but we gotta try !

We have to do this  each and everyday ! Everyday til the day we die !!  to be all loving ,

and all caring , is very hard to do ! Things like holding a grudge could bury both of you ! You have to reconcile the situation, at least you gotta try ! Who knows when off this  earth we say goodbye and away we fly! Believe in JESUS and you will live with him forever more ! living in a nansion,  with awesome  gifts galore

He gave his life for you and me ! He died, then arose  on the 3^rd day for all to see !

He took on our sins and washed them in his blood so pure ! For everlasting life he is  the only cure !

Believe in JESUS with all your heart and you will get a brand new start,! It is your maker who is tapping at your heart ! He wants to save your sole , before it is too late and  they put you in a hole !  Your sole will either go to  hell or to heaven ! It could happen real quick, without your heart even revving . You do not have to be an Einstein to figure out the best place to go, so

Accept JESUS and your name will be written in the book of life, heaven is a place of peace it’s all love with  no grief or  strife ! There is a mansion waiting with  your name written in gold upon the door !

Or, would you prefer torment everlasting  for all eternity in the firey pit’s of hell ? My understanding is things there are not very swell ! If you have not figured it out,that is why they call it the firey pit ! Your throat will be so dry, you could not even spit !           

So once again ,Answer JESUS and live in heaven forever more ! What are you waiting for ?

For all your problems there is no better answer, whether we are fighting a debilitating disease or cancer !

Call on JESUS ! He is the only honest and true way to heaven with life ever more !

Call on him he is death's cure, the only way thru heavens door !  Finding him is life's biggest score ! 

 
    

REALITY !

REALITY !  by Xsighted

Since I didn’t have any money  in my pocket , I stucked my finger in the light socket !

All of a sudden I got a jult, more powerful than a lightening bolt !

As I laid there upon the floor, I looked up and there was heavens door !

There was a blinking light outside  saying all sinner’s enter here !

Come on in and have a refreshing beer ! So my spirit left my body and strolled inside,

But it was a trap the devil had set, He LIED ! There was no bar or brew !  It was a way the head demon would capture you !It was the way  not the doorway to heaven but the doorway to the pit ! Now I was heading there, where it is so hot I could not even spit ! There is only one way I can avoid this hellish place, I have to cry out loud for my LORDS ALMIGHTY GRACE !

Oh LORD JESUS, help me, set me free, I don’t want to spend all that time with the devil throughout eternity !  I believe that you died for me and arose on the third day ! Dear JESUS, you are the truth, the life and the only way ! I believe that your blood has covered my sins, overcoming  all my indiscressions,

All the glory goes to you Dear JESUS , thank you for all the wins !

With just that little prayer and my name was written in the book of life ! No more worries, grief or strife  

I woke up ! Thank you LORD ! It was only a dream ! It probably was caused by that pizza with  hot peppers, pineapple,anchovies, onions, sausage  pepperoni and that  quart  of chunky monkey ice cream !

What ever I now do will be  done in honoring my KING,JESUS is  RULER, CREATOR  of everything !     

 Amen !

WHAT A LIFE !  by  Xsighted !

I know people who travel around the world looking for  heavenly things !

Investing their last sheckels in earthly things, like gold, diamonds and rings !

All these things soon will come to naught ! Money will not be worth a dam!

All those that still have a buck ,might as well just put it in the garbage can !

The New World Order is on the way, very soon will come upon us the LORDS  judgement day !

Lay up treasures in heaven and not here on earth. Put your stock in heaven , it is all the worth !

The Lord is coming back for us soon ! This is not a message of gloom or doom ! It could be as soon as today, hip hip hurray ! Oh it will be such a glorious day ! ARE YOU READY ?

SCAM MAN !

There are scams galore, too many to mention but here is one coming to my door ! I got an e-mail yesterday, I thought my prayers might be answered hip hip hooray ! It seems that back in May, May 19th to be exact,I got an e-mail that would put me on a new track ! I was going to get seven and a half million from a sweepsteaks from the Micro Soft corporation. My winnings coming from England a different nation. I answered upon receipt of this glorious news. Since that day I have not heard a word, no clues !  That was until yesterday ! It seems that with all that is going on in the world today, my winning somehow got shuffled around, at least that what they had to say ! Do too all the bad things happening in the banking system with terrorism and such, they are sending the cash in 2 sealed boxes, now that is too much ! The bannister in England wants 10% to handle the transaction, he promises it to be to my satisfaction ! I don't have to pay anything up front, I am still trying to figure out what is the stunt ! He sent me 3 pages of lies and hype,promising to call me on my skype ! I don't believe this crap, I will wait for his call, then figure out his trap ! I don't understand how people could be so cruel, taking advantage and trying to fool ! What ever happened to the golden rule ? I probably will never hear another word, this type of scam is really upsurd ! Maybe  the next thing they will tell me is my winnings will be delivered by Big Bird !  

Man from Rome !

MAN FROM ROME  by Xsighted

I knew a man from Rome, who originally was an Eskimo  from Nome.  

This Eskimo’s name was Joe, to sit on the throne, he sat to  go !

He eaten some pizza and spaghetti and  was getting  ready to go to bed.

Joe took a book to read, going to the potty was not something he did with  speed.

He picked up  War and Peace and read a chapter or two. He started to nod,

When a knock, knock on the door came out of the blue !

He got up opened the door ! And let out a roar !

It was Bruce Springsteen along with his crew !

Eskimo Joe said how do you do, I think I know you !

You are the Boss, I am in awe,  all my words are at a loss !

Clarence was blowing his horn !

 Bruce was singing something about, in the U.S.A being born !

Eskimo Joe thought he had  lost his mind !

 He was in such a rush, forgot to wipe his behind !

Lady Ga Ga was dancing in the nude !

 She was humping and pumping being real crude!

The Black Eyed  Peas chimed right in  !

Then,they in his bathtub they started to swim !

Elvis showed up in his blue suede shoes !

He started  gyrating and singing  jail house blues !

All his neighbors showed up after getting the news !

Just then,Eskimo Joe jumped up and  woke up from his snooze !

Man what a wild dream he said , No more eating  spaghetti and pizza before going to bed !

  

New Millions everyday !

I woke up this morning and checked my email, I was a millionaire without any fail ! I was notified that $17,000,000 was waiting for me ! I was now RICH ! RICH ! RICH !, rich as could be ! Someone died on my family tree ! They died in a rebel uprising someplace in Africa or someplace like that, within a few days, I would be a real fat cat !  The funny thing is I don't know any family members who live or even traveled to Africa land, Oh well I just don't understand ! Oh well, life is just grand ! Now I noticed another one that I just won a million bucks, in a sweepsteaks from the MicroSoft Corporation, I must be the luckiest guy in the entire Nation ! I don't know why this money is also in Africa Land, LOL !
Me really thinks these notices come from a criminal African band !

IT’S A NEW YEAR !  by Xsighted

Well 2011 is here ! I hope it brings you happyness and not a single tear !  I pray that all good things come your way, along with sunshine throughout your day ! May your dreams come true, along with blessings right out of the blue !  May your  problems be as little as a mouse and your prosperity be bigger than a house ! If you need to lose some weight, or looking  for that perfect mate to date, or quit smoking and stop all that choking ,before your lungs start croaking ! May you start this very day, first thing is to get down on your knees and to JESUS  start to pray ! That’s the best way to start this  new year the right way ! He can stop all your afflictions, and  addictions ! He is  the answer to all mind and body conditions ! Doctor JESUS is in and he always on call !  It is time to get started, don’t try and stall !  Keep putting it off and before you know it will be  the fall ! What ever you are shopping and looking  for, he is the Master mall ! Praise JESUS, LORD, SAVIOR and KING ! The RULER and CREATOR of everything ! It’s time to get into the swing !  With JESUS you will experience a win, win,win !  It is time to tell everyone including   all our kin !  Amen  

My Buddy !  by Xsighted

 Ihad a friend who was given a lot of money. Given to him to make his day’s more sunny !  It was gift to him by another,not a close friend, nor a brother ! Mr Millionaire was someone who he  just talked to about his cat. By himself, this mogle, around his small apartment  just  sat ! Yep, him and his cat !   He was a rich guy who had no friends at all ! To my buddy, when he got lonely, he would  just call. This man’s life was sad and empty and all alone  ! He was so tight, If you were a starving dog,  he would not throw you a bone ! When he died, no one was there and no one cried  !

My so called friend  bought a yacht and  a corvette . He got these things from the inheritance without any sweat !  He soon  forgot about his  friends  that he had  known  for years and years. His promises of sharing his good fortune  and his  self centered  attitude,  could bring on some tears ! After  his ship came in, he would not throw you a life preserver if you fell in and could not swim ! He has  became like the millionaire  who left him all that money, it’s not very funny !   He tells everyone that he is a  self made  millionaire. About anyone else in this world, but himself,  he does not  give a single care ! He is his own island in the sun. If you asked  for some help, away he would run ! He does not need anyone in his life !  He has no real friends, never has  taken a wife !  In his mind  he was now an important personality ! He has gotten  so self centered and very greedy, a real s.o.b. ! When his time on earth is over, he will end up like his donor, a real loner ! No one will even care ! Then it would be a little late for him to enjoy his life and  to  share ! He probably will leave his fortune  to  his dog and cat, his only friends,who both sit on his lap ! He let his bread turn his head ! Money does not mean  a thing when you are dead ! This is a true story,nothing more about Mister  Wonderful can be said !         

Jackass for Din !

JACKASS  by  Xsighted

According to the Government food and drug administration ,Jack Ass’s are  being sold at an alarming  rate, all across the nation ! I’ts being served somewhere in each and every state ! Is JACKASS winding up on your plate ? I really think you have to  start  to worry !  Coming soon to your meat case, JACKASS  spiced with curry ! I think a lot of JACKASS’S  are just winding up as pets  ! So when Dec 21, 2012 arrives, people can kiss their very own ass good bye !

More at http://www.countryhumor.blogspot.com 

JackAss on the Table !

JACKASS  by  Xsighted

According to the Government food and drug administration ,Jack Ass’s are  being sold at an alarming  rate, all across the nation ! I’ts being served somewhere in each and every state ! Is JACKASS winding up on your plate ? I really think you have to  start  to worry !  Coming soon to your meat case, JACKASS  spiced with curry ! I think a lot of JACKASS’S  are just winding up as pets  ! So when Dec 21, 2012 arrives, people can kiss their very own ass good bye !

More at http://www.countryhumor.blogspot.com